I recently watched a stand-up comedian on TV bagging New Years’s resolutions; his claim was that because we make them up just to stay in the game, they are doomed since they rarely have a meaningful connection with our life.
The comedian proposed that a more effective alternative to instant resolutions would be to have a friend, associate, or even a random fellow partygoer create our resolution for us.
He segwayed into a skit where the protagonist was partying with a bunch of New Year’s Eve revellers. On the count of zero, they all turned around and pointed at our hapless hero, chiming, “Get therapy!” This is where canned laughter would be handy. The best I can do in print is a smiley face :)
Our comedic observer has a valid point in that subjective goals inherently have a built-in "get out of jail free" card. New Year’s resolutions are usually made up impulsively, under severe peer pressure, and buoyed with alcoholic bubbles. The painful light of daybreak evokes dilution, even denial of the rash promises made in the heat of the night, and witness statements are not reliable.
Many NLP techniques use the terms, “Associated” and “Dissociated.” Simply put, associated means perceiving a situation from inside looking out, while dissociated means being on the outside looking in.
I have never read a goal written in the second or third person. They are always first person, crafted by and for the individual. Their purpose and planning is private and protected. The author is in an associated state and every aspect of creating and implementing the goal is subjective.
How can we gain an objective view of such a personal thing as attempting to make a dream come true?
Our dreams and aspirations are deeply private, only hinted at through our actions, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It just would be nice if we could secretly escape from our cloaked consciousness to take a glimpse of how we are interacting with our world, before safely returning to business as usual. The new perspective would give us confidence that we are on the right track or prompt corrective modifications to our action plan.
Goals don’t sit still with their hand in the air, calling out, “Here I am. Come and get me!” They have to be chased down, which makes the whole process more interesting don’t you think?
An effective approach to goal setting is to write the goal in the past tense, preposed by the glorious moment of achievement. The process starting from the first step chronologically sets out all the actions and details all the positive emotions experienced along the journey.
This structure presupposes success and encourages the goal setter to visualise how their triumphs will look, sound, feel, taste, and smell.
Imagine how distinguished celebrities feel when presented with a coveted This is your life album; all their accomplishments captured and presented based on how they were perceived by adoring audiences and loving family and friends. This third-party body of evidence is irrefutable proof that they did everything possible to achieve their dreams and goals.
How could we fail if our goals were awarded ahead of time in This is your life format, past tense inevitability and third-party authentication?
Charlie is going to write his next goal in the past tense and in the third person. His dreams will remain personal, but his actions will be public, and his achievements will be respected and enjoyed by all those who share his vision.